Tired of Bad Virgo Horoscopes

Mikaela says:
While Senior Eric/Brian Francis (covering my bases there) does a good job finding interesting prognostications for Virgo, most horoscopes are deadeningly bad.

As I've said many times, Virgo is the straight man of the calendar. We're fussy, meticulous, exacting, perfectionistic, anal, serious, and endlessly hard-working.

Here's a typical daily horoscope:

Your ability to enjoy yourself today depends upon how you manage your schedule. It's rather unlikely that you'll impulsively go off to have a good time, as that would be out of character for you. But building playtime into your routine will help you feel less guilty about having fun, whether you're playing with children, participating in sports or just kicking back to relax for a while.

Now, if this were any other sign, it would say:

You're drawn to play and have fun today. Don't fight the urge! Be your playful, bad self! How can you not? Just remember to keep a balance with other responsibilities, and everything will work out just great. No worries.

Instead, here's a double admonishment, as though any Virgo needs reminding of our responsibilities. 1) Make sure you manage your schedule. 2) Make sure you remember "fun."

It's just such an insult any way you look at it. Can that really be true that Virgos have to pencil in playtime? Or pen it in, so that we don't erase it for work when our guilt overcomes us?

It's ridiculous. Even the straight guy gets a laugh every once in a while. More astrologers should remember the less-talked about but less-insulting sides of Virgos -- our intuition, our ability to communicate, our healing powers, our easy service of others. We've got huge reserves of wisdom that astrologers very rarely tap. It's annoying.

And that is all I have to say about that. Carry on!