And then there's the nosepicker....

Mikaela says:
On the other side of cool, there's Tom & Katie's kid, who's at a disadvantage already.

Great story in the Washington Post about some of the weird restrictions -- on the woman -- Scientology places on childbirth. See for yourself. Katie has GOT to be thinking, "What on earth -- or other planets -- did I get myself into?" Take the baby and run, Katie. Don't look back.

- Silent birth. How is this even possible without sedation? According to an explainer now prominently linked on the Scientology Web site, screams are okay -- just certain words or phrases (like "Scientology is weird, man!") should be avoided.

- The pacifier. Star magazine reported that Cruise had an adult-sized pacifier specially made to help muffle any birth-related screaming, moaning and general mommy blather. Cruise denies the report.

- Signs. Signs plastered around the delivery room will remind Katie to "keep silent."

- Grandma not welcome. Fearing bad karma -- or some kind of disturbance in the Scientological force -- Holmes' mom is reportedly persona non grata in the delivery room.

- No baby talk. Katie mustn't talk to little TomKitten for seven days. If true, this seems like the most unnatural limit of all. How many studies are there about the importance of a mother's affection from the get-go?

- Baby's first days. According to the writings of L. Ron Hubbard, here courtesy of Slate, after birth the baby should "be wrapped somewhat tightly in a warm blanket, very soft, and then left alone for a day or so."

(Notice all of the above limits are on Katie and not Tom. Who knew Scientology was so sexist?)

I'm not worried about baby TomKitten, though. According to the Scientology explainer everything will be okay:

Most children raised in good Scientology homes are above average in ability and quickly begin to understand how and why people act as they do. Life thus becomes a lot happier and safer for them.